“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”- John Rohn
The first time I heard this quote was from a wannabe public speaker who tried to scam myself and the rest of his newly hired team to bring him in clients for his scam of a workshop. He may not have been a legit persons but the fool knew something about something. At that time I spent all of my time bounce from my friend’s apartment and work. I had 1 friend who wasn’t doing so well but it was only a temporary life setback. That manager told me in order for me to flourish, ie: build his brand, I needed to get rid of her because she was bring my value as a person down. I ended up dropping one of those people in my 5 circle – and I am happy to say it was him.
Now that I am a bit older, & hopefully a bit more wiser, I reflect on that quote more than ever. I am more mindful of who I let into my space, who do I spend time with, & who gets the opportunity to drain my energy. (The last one is pretty hard when you are a teacher but I digress) Now I don’t believe that your 5 people have to be physically next to you. At time I had Eric Thomas or Les Brown received more of my time than my own family members. Those people you chose to spend time with must build you up to becoming a better you. If you are personally blessed to actually know them then you should do the same for them.
“If they don’t make you grow, they gotta go!”
There are individuals who you kind of can’t fully cut tied to like certain family members but you can always lower your involvement with them as much as possible. You don’t have to say a complete good-bye to them, they can still be fun to be around but they should not own a high percentage of your life. However, the ones who intentions negatively impact you to the point the others in your top 5 want to smack the daylight saving out of you then, show that mofo the door.
My Partna n Crime
My Sister from Another Mister
As for my “Top 5, some of mine live a long distance away so daily calls and text keep that line of communication constantly flowing. The others I am blessed to have them at arms reach when I need a reminder of who I am. Each one possess a sense of strength, spirit led by God, integrity and liveliness to them which by default I have inherited those traits. Many moons ago I didn’t have such an amazing lineup. I was investing time into fruitless endeavors. I had to weed out those individuals who brought me down. To be quite honest, I too have been weeded out of some people’s top 5 because my mindset was toxics. I have come to terms with it and I am okay with that. We are all at a better place for the decisions we made for the betterment of self. You have to get to a point where you take a serious evaluation of who you share your time with.
Take time and think these few things over:
- Who are the people you spend the most time with?
- How do each person build you up?
- How have you become a better person because of them?
- Is this relationship beneficial for them as well?
- Are there some relationship you may need to reevaluate?
- How are you going to handle cutting those tied?